But Why …..

Recently I had a “but why?...” session with one of my dear friend. We kinda had a fallout in between, where we weren’t talking to each other, reasons which were given – that we were busy with our work, no time for socialising, but the ugly truth was that my male ego was clashing with her “perfect” feminine ego/ attitude. Now why this war of egos, lets not get into that.

So one fine day I decided to kill my ego and make the 1^st move. For a few days we chatted normally. Now since we were getting back to being comfortable with each other again, the sharing part started, where in both parties share everything which is going on in their lives: mostly the crap stuff, how life is a bitch and the usual. So after few such sessions, she asks me, “Kartik, why do you like me so much that you always come back & show faith in our relation? Why is that whenever anything happens I’m the 1^st one to freak out & go in a shell? Why is that you always stand by me? Why is it that, you always come back for me even when I’m mean, selfish, inconsiderate towards you. Even when I hurt you? What have I done to deserve such unconditional love & commitment from people I hurt the most?” (okk so madam wants some attention now, some buttering, some nice words about her so that her feminine ego doesn’t remain bruised :P )

Now there are those “whys” which sometimes don’t have any answers. I tried my best to reason out stuff with her, but couldn’t put up a solid argument. I described certain incidents which are very dear to me, & due to which, have made her dear to me. Still she wasn’t satisfied (as is the case with all the descendants of Venus, this coding has been embedded in their chip right from birth & the code is based on some complex matrix coding, so hard to break :P). Anyways, I moved on by putting my full logic & reasoning to test, but could get half the answer to the question.

I guess there are no answers to certain “whys”. When you connect with a person, there can be many reasons, & some are unexplained. Why you keep going back to that person – well may be because the time you have spent together, the thoughts which you have shared, your matching wavelengths, something which the other person has done for you, or how you feel for that person. Well there are lot of reasons, but none conclusive. May be this is the reason why people are heartbroken after a breakup.

These “whys” have been around for a long time & will be around, it’s up to us how we deal with them. Some might get answered, some will remain a mystery. But the quest will always be on until time gets the best of us. BUT WHY!!!! …..

From Enna Maccha to Abbey yaar ……

Hey……. yea I know, I know you guys missed me and my blogs for a long time :P :D….. but ‘m back!!!!

In my previous blogs I mentioned about the transitions between different phases in my life, well they keep on continuing. And this one is a rather important one.

“Anna, central …… yaavlaau ?? 120 !!!! rumba jasti anna ….. 80 seri …. “, never imagined these would be my last spoken words in Tamil, before leaving Chennai, which had been my home for the past 2 amazing years!!!!! I was leaving for my hometown, Pune, with all my baggage, to start a new phase of my life. I got appointed as an Audio Faculty in my Alma Mater SAE, but in the Mumbai branch. So in order to spend some time home before joining I left Chennai a bit early.

Chennai ……. The city which had been very kind to me in terms of some amazing people who are very close to me now, my friends, my roomies, my college SAE, and my teachers. Chennai ……. The city which had sometimes been very harsh on me in terms of food, health n weather. But however the city was, my stay there was a life changing experience. My attitude towards life, my career, people, family changed. I started to realize the real value of things. So it was kinda hard for me to say good bye to Chennai. Even though I was “SOOPER” excited about the new job and starting to earn, but deep down inside me, I knew that these 2 years ‘m never gonna get back and they forever will remain in my memories. I’m gonna miss all the great times spent wid my buddies. Those back to back horror movie nights, that crap food which was made tolerable by the company I had, those surprise b’day parties, those long talks wid my bros on sleepless nights, those long walks wid a “teddy bear”, those last minute plans, complete chaos, falling sick, looking after each other, those misunderstandings, arguments, fights, voh khvaab dekhna …..!!!! Miss all that.

But most importantly, ‘m never gonna forget that, Chennai gave my passion a direction, gave my career a shape, made me realize my dream.

Mumbai ……

The “City of Dreams” as it is rightly called, its every person’s dream, who is in the creative or media field, to come and work in Mumbai, the heart of Bollywood, oh sorry I stand corrected, The Hindi Film Industry ;) . Being a Maharashtrian, it was but obvious to take up the opportunity, which lead me to Mumbai, near to my home town.

After almost 2 years, I was back to poli bhajji (roti sabji), Marathi people, the language, n the abuses!!!! (trust me some abuses just sound right when given in Marathi), the local culture. But Mumbai is just not about one particular culture, it’s like a “Cultural Mélange”, or you might say it’s like a “Cultural Khichadi” spiced wid flavours from all over India, and some “firangi” side dishes!!!!

Staying away from home for 2 years, had made me strong enough to take on Mumbai. So there I was on 21^st March searching for a place to stay. But one of my dear friends was kind enough to offer me a vacant place in a spacious 2bhk apartment in her building. So that was sorted out.

22^nd March was my joining date. Time given to me was 10.00 am, I reached there by 9.45am, with my Dad n Grandparents, who had come to see me off n wish me luck. While saying goodbyes I caught that hint of glisten in my Dad’s eyes which revealed that he was proud of me. That was enough for me to start the new phase in my life with full JOSH!!!!! Filmy …… I know….. but what to do …… mein aisahich hai bhai …… :P

So there I was alone, nervous, excited, anxiety at its max, waiting to start off the day …. And it went pretty damn well ….. met my HOD, about whom I had heard a lot, who is like a guru in Audio Engineering, an encyclopaedia….. after hearing all this I had a mental image of him as a guy in his mid 40’s, wid a salt-pepper topping, serious. But when I met him he was the total opposite, he was this cool dude, in early 30’s, an amazing sense of humour, and made me feel welcome in the team ……

Shortly after that I was scheduled to take my 1^st class. I spent the previous day preparing, making sure ‘m not leaving out any topic. While leaving my home on the day of the class, I had told myself ki, u gonna be strong, confident, don’t have to be nervous, it’s your subject n you can do this ….. n all the motivational crap one gives himself. I reached in time. The students had already come. I took the attendance, and stood up to introduce myself……… and at that point of time I experienced how it feels to have a shiver run down your spine, having goose bumps and sweating at the same time!!!!! They were staring at me with anxious eyes …… I was lip locked for a few seconds, totally clueless how to start. I hadn’t taught before in my life, only time I had taught someone was, when I used help out my friends, but that was different, here all stranger eyes scanning you from top to bottom and silently saying ….. “So …. What do you have to say!!!!”. But I regained my cool, n remembered what my mentor had told me during my training, that they are just students, just keep your cool, and start talking, they will be automatically charmed by you !!!! ….. OK the last part was added by me …. But hey, u weren’t their …. :P. So anyways, I introduced myself, introduced the topic I was gonna teach, and off we were ….. I didn’t feel a bit of nervousness while teaching, I was funny, gave em some “GYAN”, n my 1^st class was a success!!!!!

Adjusting to the new house, new roommates was not that hard, since I had spent 2 years in Chennai. I guess it is easier to adjust to your surroundings after a certain level of maturity & some experiences with the harder side of life.

They say that, if can survive in Mumbai you can survive anywhere. Well it’s kinda true. Mumbai shows you all the vivid colours of life. This city has got it all, the glamour world, the underworld, and the common man struggling in between somewhere. But the city gives you the guts to face life as it comes. It’s true that life goes on 24x7. It’s a place, which gave me the true meaning of “Voluptuous”!!!! ;) :D. It’s a place which makes you feel safe but at the same time can scare shit out of you. You get to see0020two extreme sides of human behaviour and humanity. If you are trying to catch a moving train, the people will catch you and pull you up & if you get on, & hanging onto to the door, people from inside will hold you tight. It’s kinda mutual, since they know they also can be in the same situation. On the same day when I saw this, I also witnessed a guy beating up his wife under the flyover ruthlessly & the traffic cop who was at the signal, was just standing by and doing nothing!!!!! There are countless such small incidents which I have witnessed since I have been here. For some you can’t do anything, but where I can I try to do my part. But ‘m in love with this city and wanna explore it to the max!!!!

When you start earning, it takes you to the next level of independence and responsibilities. The word “shopping” takes on a whole new meaning!!!! And if you are a foodie, then it’s like Christmas all the time!!!! :D …… But it also feels good when you don’t have to ask your parents for money. When you get your 1^st pay cheque, you spend the rest of your day on cloud no 9 ….. You feel proud of yourself when you pay the rent from your own money, when you tick the “professional” or “salaried” box on any form. You just can’t stop smiling, when buy something for your parents & for yourself from your 1^st salary. When money is spent from your pocket for silly reasons, you realize how your dad must have felt, when you used to ask him money for unnecessary things & used to create fuss about it, but your dad used to give it without saying anything & wid a smile. J

Well until now Mumbai has given me all these experiences & can’t wait to have more. Just loving this transition from one phase of my life to another. But throughout all this, ‘m missing something, which may be makes me sometimes feel ‘m all alone in this beautiful city. Hop e I find it soon!!!! ….

I dedicate this blog to my parents, my family, my dear friends & mentors …..n surprisingly SAE !!!!!

"Over Rated"

Disclaimer: I give credit for this blog to a very close and dear friend of mine, who keeps on coming with crazy ideas and thoughts. This is my attempt to give shape to one of his thoughts. I thank him for sparking off these chain of thoughts in me and make me think a lot, which results into this blog. Also this blog is not to hurt anyone’s sentiments or feelings, it is an expression of my thoughts.

 

A phone ring, gets Karan out of his love affair with his computer screen. It’s his wife Shruti calling, which tells him he better start for home. At 24, Karan is a very successful investment banker. Very happy and content with his life, he has no regrets. Karan is a genuine person, a good human being. His friends mean lot to him, n he means a lot to them. He can withstand any problem in life, but can’t stand his friends being in any sort of problem. Is always there for them, and sees to that he does whatever he can to help them out. He is a gem of a person.

Karan and Shruti are married for a year now. But their love is 3 years old, and ever growing. They were the best of friends, buddies, until they realised they mean so much to each other, that can’t live without each other. They are perfect for each other. She understands his work, his love for the arts, and his jolly, crazy nature. And he understands the same things in her, and all the things which make her a little girl sometimes. In short they are perfect for each other, soulmates. They understand each other so well, that not once there have been any misunderstandings.

He picks up the call. Shruti reminds him, that he has to meet one of his very close friend, Pooja. Karan and Pooja have been friends since college. Very good friends, seen life’s ups and downs together. Pooja now works in the media field, is a successful producer. She always seeks Karan’s advice for new ideas for her shows, due to his theatre background.

Pooja is a lovely person. Very friendly, caring, happy, knows her job, will never hurt anyone. But still has no luck in finding Mr. Right. Whenever she is low, or life is just not kind on her, Karan and Shruti are always there for her. So the three of them share a very unique bond.

Karan leaves his office, and meets Pooja in a coffee shop. They discuss about the upcoming show produced by Pooja, and other things. But during the whole conversation Pooja is kind of lost, not speaking much as she usually does. Karan, immediately senses that there is something wrong. He asks her, what the problem is. She tries to avoid the subject, by changing the topic. But Karan is persistent. Then she says, that it’s the work load. But Karan is not satisfied with the answer. He takes her out on a walk.

10 minutes pass, she doesn’t speak a word. And then all of a sudden starts crying. Karan hugs her and makes her calm down. Then she starts telling him what the matter is. She tells him that how lonely she has been feeling lately. How all the guys she’s been meeting are turning out to be jerks. She explains to him that how she spends lonely nights, in her apartments, staring out of the window, wondering when will she find the right guy, when will she be in a meaningful relationship, when will she have the perfect kiss, when will she be loved?

Karan consoles her, buy saying that the right guy is out there, they just need to find each other. Pooja is not satisfied with that answer, but manages to calm herself down. She remains quite for 5 minutes. Then asks Karan for a favour. He says whatever he can do to make her feel better he will do it.

But he is not expecting what Pooja is about to ask him.

After lot of stammering and clearing the throat, Pooja summons the courage to ask him. She tells him that she still is a virgin and never has experienced what it is to be like, to be loved by a man. She explains to him that, she is not trying to cover up her depression by having sex, but genuinely wants to experience the emotion, the feelings, the excitement, the passion of making love. She asks him, genuinely and with all her innocence, to make love to her, to make her understand, feel what love and love making is.

Karan is in a shock after hearing this. But recovers from it pretty fast. He knows Pooja very well, and understands that she is not just looking to sleep around, but really wants to experience love, which is a wonderful emotion, and comes naturally to all human beings. And it’s her right to experience that. Nothing wrong to experience love making. It is the one of the most natural and beautiful thing. He very well understands that Pooja is not of a loose character, just looking out to have emotionless sex.

He registers all this, and being such a good friend and an amazing person doesn’t freak out on her. He says to himself that, Pooja is his friend, and is in trouble and needs his help. But at the same time, at the back of his mind he thinks of his wife, Shruti. He thinks about her, how will she react to this, will she understand all this.

Pooja reads Karan’s face and understands his dilemma. She tells him not to bother himself, she just wanted to get it out of her system, and already knew what his answer would be. And moreover she wouldn’t do anything, that would jeopardise, Karan and Shruti’s relation. She tells him not to think much on this, go home to his wife, and forget about this. She will be fine, just wanted to talk this out with him.

Karan doesn’t know what to say. He just hugs her and drops her home. On the way back to his home, he is constantly thinking about this, and is very much disturbed. He reaches home. The moment Shruti opens the door, she comes to know something is wrong with him. She makes him coffee and they sit down and talk. He tells her everything, every word that Pooja said.

Now I won’t complete this blog, because seriously I don’t know the end to this story. I want u guys, the readers to help me out.

Tell me is Pooja wrong in wanting to experience sex? Or is there a difference in sex and love making. I think they are one and the same. Sex or love making is one of the most beautiful emotions, humans can have and feel. It is natural, nature made us like this.

Do you think Karan will make love to Pooja, because she is his very good friend, and is in need of help, is in need of a friend. Is it right of Karan to think that, it is helping his friend so he should go ahead with it?

Shruti, who is such an amazing person, will she understand Pooja’s feelings, and what she is going through. Will she have so much faith in her husband, that she knows, whatever he will do, it will be right and for the good?

Say Shruti is supportive of her husband, Pooja and the situation and Karan goes ahead with it, will the relation between Shruti and Karan, Shruti and Pooja, Karan and Pooja, be the same as before?

I am seriously not able to make out who is right or wrong here? Is Pooja wrong in wanting to experience a natural emotion? Is Karan wrong, in going ahead with it, when he is married or is he right in wanting to help his dear friend? And is Shruti right or wrong in supporting or not supporting her husband, her love, her friend Pooja and the situation?

It is just unimaginable, how one will react to this situation. What will it be like to be in Pooja, Karan or Shruti’s place?

So many questions remain unanswered or they are best left unanswered, I don’t know. Is sex so “OVERRATED” for us, or the society has just made it like that. Why is it always related with a dark side or treated like taboo. Can’t it be a human emotion, a way of expressing love. Is love to be just expressed in words?

I am waiting for all these answers. Don’t know when they will be answered, till then the quest continues.

 

 

Cheers,

Kartik.

Undefined

It’s 3 a.m. in the morning and I have just finished watching a movie about 4 New York girls, their city, and their adventure of finding the perfect love. After watching many similar movies I’m always forced to think, why do we always run behind finding the perfect love of our life? Are these relationships so important to us? Why are we always in search of somebody? All this leads me to one question........ Why do we always have to DEFINE a relationship?

Now, I know, that we as a Human Race are programmed to define each and every thing that we see, hear, taste, feel etc. , but what if some things remain unexplained, some relations undefined?

Agreed that every relation is accompanied by the human emotions of love, respect, hate, friendship and all the emotions one can think of. But according to me there’s an undefined force which drives some relations. This force can’t be explained by any dictionary. How am I so sure, because I have felt it.

At my age, it’s obvious and natural for a guy, to want someone in his life, to experience love, to explore new things, to be wanted by someone else. It is nature’s law you can’t fight it. But in our pursuit of finding the perfect relation, we tend to over look the small or sometimes big relations, which we are unable to understand.

To be honest, I also followed the league. Tried to get into things, and messed up my life for some time. The feelings were true, but I guess the person and time were wrong. Any ways, moving on and journeying through I came across certain wonderful relations, which till now ‘m trying to figure out.

It took me 21 years and a journey of some hundred miles to finally understand what my parents mean to me and what I mean to them. Being the rebellious kind, I tend to argue and prove my point, well they do it too......and many times they start it.....but I don’t blame them; you know they say after a certain age, you just let your parents on their own, they are just like kids........ OK grandpa enough of philosophical shit. HEHEHEHE........

My point was, even though we have our differences, we still understand each other, love each other.

Another relation which always makes me think, is between me and my ...... uuuummmm I wanna say one of my best friends......... no godfather.......no just uncle......no........well see......can’t define it. He actually is my dad’s friend. I met him when I had just graduated from school, when I started learning music from him. Now ‘m not gonna tell you how awesome he is, you have to meet him. But this person has a major role in what I’m today. I practically owe my passion and now what is going to be my career to him. I have learnt so much from him, not only music, but ways of life, absolutely anything under the sun. He has changed my way of looking at life. The earlier me wouldn’t have been here if it wasn’t for this guy. I seriously don’t know how he looks at me, he sees me as his friend, or am I like a son to him or......seriously don’t know. One thing I know is, I respect him, love him and that mysterious thing, which I can’t explain.

I have these few wonderful friends, which kind of mean the world to me. One is the oldest, from school. She’s being bearing me for almost 15 years or more now. We share something different. Been there for each other, laughed, cried, sometimes bitched, together. And now as both of us are far away, working towards our lives, we still are just a phone call away, and still mean the same to each other. She still calls me in the middle of the night to discuss the silliest things and yeah sometimes the sensible things also.

Then there’s this awesome guy, who now I consider as my brother, but he is something different to me. We just can’t live without each other. People actually recognise us because of each other. There was one time when, either one of us used to be absent, and people were in shock due to this. We have spent some amazing years together. Seen life in all it’s colour. Many times, partners in crime and most of the time creators of awesomeness. There’s just too much to write.

Two people with whom I can be totally crazy and go all out, they have been in my life for not more than 2 years, but we have spent so many unforgettable memories. But it’s not this that makes our friendship so special. It’s the unseen bond, the trust, which keeps us together no matter what comes in our way.

Then there are a few special people, whom I met in my new home, Chennai. Two guys, who are out of this world, brothers, more than roomies. It amazes me how two people or two minds come so close in such a short span of time. May be it’s that undefined force. We have had the best of times together. Will have to write a whole new blog on that, but that later. And then there are these 2 ladies, one totally crazy (‘m gonna get kicked for that) and the other one....well I think she’s an alien or a ghost!!!!! I seriously don’t know how 5 months passed by and how we have come to know each other so well. The alien can make any situation easy , she’s got this unique quality or what I don’t know that makes the other person feel happy and at ease. She’s got a different genre of humour. The crazy one, is a different person all together, she can bash up a guy, and at same time be the cutest person in the world. You can always count on her.

And now the person whom, I was saving for the last. Met her around one and half year ago, and we have seen so much in this period, that we can’t imagine life without each other. She’s like my buddy. I’m holding myself from writing about her, because there’s too little space here. It’s very hard not fall in love with her. Which is what exactly has happened to me. And she knows about it. But still this hasn’t changed anything, we are the same buddies. In fact we are more closer now as friends. Understand each other so well. Normally in these situations the relation goes bad, but I think it’s that unexplained thing, which has made our relation ..... I don’t know what!!!!!!

I don’t tend to hate people. But there’s this one guy I wanna hate from the bottom of my heart. But somehow I don’t know why I can’t. I end up trying to put sense in to him. After what he has behaved with me or my friends, still I end up treating him in a very good manner. Don’t know what he means to me.

This is how I have come across relations and there are many small and beautiful relations which are still undefined. But I think it’s this unexplained characteristic which makes them so special. Either I’m too lazy to find out the answer or life wants to keep it’s mysteries alive, but I’m happy with what life has given me, all these wonderful people who complete my life.

 

Me and Chennai

This can termed as a prologue to the previous blog. I completed my graduation and decided to move to Chennai for my further studies in audio engineering, the field of my passion. But it wasn’t just getting out of Pune and getting into Chennai, this journey had lots to offer.

Goodbye Pune :-
After all the preparations and packing was done, it was finally time for me to say goodbye to my home, Pune. I was being invited for lunch and dinner by my relatives and friends, and saying bye to them all was hard on me. I was to leave on 7th June, so we had a small dinner at my place on the 6th, just 5 of my close friends and my parents. Those were some wonderful memories. I had never seen my parents laugh so much. But through all the laughs and jokes cracked that day, somewhere deep down my heart ached, I didn’t want to leave all these guys, they meant so much to me. Other than that, the night meant more to me in some other way. I did a thing which I wanted to do for a long-time, which was like a burden on me and had to loose it, in order to not regret anything. I did it. And inspite of my fear of loosing a dear friend, it just made our relation stronger.

The next day was family goodbye. My grandparents, my uncles, my cousins had come home. And somehow I felt more closer to them.

The train was at 3.30 in the morning. So there I was at the station, at around 2.30am, with my friends, my parents and my cousin bro. The train was late by hours, so had to kill time on the station. But you don’t have to kill time when you are with your family and friends, it just flies by. Never had imagined, would have such an awesome night at the railway station, especially my friends and family being together.

Finally the train came at 5.30am and the moment of truth had arrived. Trying to stop tears, I hugged my friends, but couldn’t look them in the eyes. And the brother, with whom I spent such great years, who was like my buddy, I couldn’t even hug him, all we got through was a small handshake. As my dad was coming with me, I had to say bye to my mom for now, but couldn’t do that either, I wanted to hug her and tell her how much I loved her, even though I troubled her so much; couldn’t do it.

The train started, and within 5 mins my best friend texts me in his own style; all the best and will miss you a lot. That pushed the tear down my check.

Is it so hard to say goodbye to your loved ones??????

Vanakam Chennai !!!! :-
Honestly when I stepped into Chennai, I hated it. I felt like I was suffocating. Only 10 mins in Chennai, I was missing Pune. That very day, me and my dad, checked out my new college and hostel facilities. That night moved into my new place. A big bunglow, where the top floor was rented out to students of my college. So there I was, starting my hostel life, with 8 guys. My dad stayed for 3 days. And everytime we had lunch or dinner, I tried not looking at him, tried gulping down food, and rolled back those droplets of salty water. The 3rd day my dad had to leave. This really made me disturbed, because, he’s one person I loved the most. But the strength he gave me, made pass through it.

The next 2 weeks were really funny. At one moment I was very home sick and at the next I was laughing, playing music, sharing stuff with my new roommates. During those 2 weeks, my phone bill included a lot of STD calls!!!!

But as time passed, I adjusted to life here. Started liking Chennai. Loved the college, made some good friends there. Back at the hostel, met 2 gems, 2 people who are now very close to me and not less than brothers, have nice and “unique” roommates!!!! Celebrated my birthday, like I had never before. Had 2 cakes, one at the hostel and the other at the college. This was something different , something amazing.

During all this, I learnt a lot. I learnt the value of my parents, my friends, the value of time and money. I learnt to understand and judge people better. I understood what is working towards your goal. Finally I learnt to say NO!!!!! I faced and solved problems on my own. I came to know, some people are just not worth your time and energy and also your friendship. I learnt what LOVE is.

I’m still learning and exploring a lot of things. Exploring life, exploring Chennai. I do miss Pune, home, home food a lot, but have come to terms with it.

This has been my experience with Chennai so far, and eager to have more!!!!!

Life has lots to offer, accept it with open arms and enjoy it. And be grateful to life, for whatever it had given you. That way you have less regrets, trust me. And at the end of it, only thing matters is that you and your loved ones are happy and satisfied.

Cheers!!!!

Apprehensions and Expectations

It’s been a long time since I posted my last blog. And now ‘m writing this one, when I have started a new phase of my life. I have shifted to a new city for my studies in Audio.

After the final exams of my last year in college, things started to move pretty fast, towards my new goal, Audio Engineering. Things went on well, I cleared the entrance test, got admission into the college which I wanted, at the same time I became a Commerce graduate. And finally it all came down to the preparations leading to my adieu to my hometown, to leave for a new city, a new life. It was pretty hard for me to leave my parents, my friends, my city in which I was born, brought up n lived for 20 years. Everyone was proud of me, at the same time had expectations that, I do well in the new course and have a good career ahead. I realised that and a sense of responsibility came to me.

During the preparations, I went through a phase of apprehensions and expectations. It’s a time when a person has some expectations and anxiety towards his new life. I had lots!!!!!
When the thought of moving to a strange city, and living there for 18 months, struck me, I was shocked to the core. Felt like the earth below me had started shaking. Those few days were the worst. I was nervous, scared, anxious and every possible emotion a man can go through!!!!!
Thanks to my parent’s hostel stories, I was long away from being comforted. They told me what all had happened in their times, how hostel guys behave, what pranks are played, how ragging was done and what not. But then I found out a logic, that come on, so many young guys leave their homes and go out for studies and they turn out fine, so why shouldn’t I. And one more thing, all these stories were really old; my dad graduated atleast 20 years back.

But still I had some apprehensions about my new roommates. I expected them to be nice people, whose wavelength matched mine, but it’s not a perfect world after all. So I left that to fate.
One more fear I had, was that, I had dreamt about doing this for a long time and now it was turning into a reality, so will I really be able to do this. But then I thought, music is my passion, and this is what I’m here to do. So screw everyone ‘m doing this and ‘m going to prove myself.
Another anxiety was about the course and the college. Of course I had done my research and heard a lot about the college, but still was curious that, how my new college will be, how’s the faculty there, finally I hadn’t seen the college, so this thought was but obvious.

The most dreaded fear I had was, leaving my buddies and my parents. How will I survive without them? With whom will I hang out? Who will bunk classes and watch movies with me? With whom will I dream about the future? Who will do awesome things with me? Who will talk with me for hours on the phone? Who will be my bro n take me out to movies and give me valuable pieces of advice? A lot of questions remained unanswered.

I was going to miss home food. I hoped I got good food in the new place, as per my tastes.

So basically I had lot of apprehensions. But at the end of it I decided that, not to expect much, or your expectations do get broken. Instead go with an open mind, accept what you can, adjust a bit, and things which you can’t adjust, just ignore or find an alternative. Coz finally it’s life, it moves on, even if you don’t. Life always offers you something new, accept it with a smiling face, and you can enjoy life.

So after a hard and long game of “emotional ping pong”, I left my hometown, towards a new city, a new life, a new me. And it has turned out to be just fine. Got good friends, roommates, college turned out to be good, the faculty nice. So not expecting much, paid off!!!!!

But going through all this made me realise values of certain people and certain things. I wish everyone goes though this once in their lifetime, it’s a wonderful experience!!!!!
Cheers. :)

WILL YOU COME TONIGHT................????

DISCLOSER : Name of this blog has been inspired from a fellow blogger. I express my gratitude and regards towards him.

The day passes by, in running after time to complete deadlines, mundane chores & working towards the achievement of our goals. Our mind is so engaged in these things, that it totally forgets about someone completely.

It’s in the evening, that it starts to think about other things. Then her thought comes to my mind. Then everything takes a back seat. I start to think only about her & only her. How she looks, talks, how she plays with her hair, how she gets angry, how she teases etc.,. My mind wanders , what is she doing at this very moment?

After this comes a long argument between my heart & my mind, on why I like her so much!!!!!! Why do I care for her so much? , why do I get upset when she doesn’t call? What do I see in her? Does she see me in the same way? What if yes & what if no? when will I meet her again?

My body is doing different things, but my mind is diving into the ocean of her thoughts!! Every time her thought comes to mind, my heart goes bunjee jumping!!

I start thinking my future with her. How we guys would look as a couple, what will I do when I propose & she says “YES”!! what will it be like ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… snap, there comes the “Temporary Coma” time!!!! I wish I could stay up all night & just think about her, but y brain tells me I have to sleep, just to wake up next day & go through a thought less day!!
So I ask her, “WILL YOU COME TONIGHT” ………………………...
………………………………..... IN MY DREAMS????????