Undefined

It’s 3 a.m. in the morning and I have just finished watching a movie about 4 New York girls, their city, and their adventure of finding the perfect love. After watching many similar movies I’m always forced to think, why do we always run behind finding the perfect love of our life? Are these relationships so important to us? Why are we always in search of somebody? All this leads me to one question........ Why do we always have to DEFINE a relationship?

Now, I know, that we as a Human Race are programmed to define each and every thing that we see, hear, taste, feel etc. , but what if some things remain unexplained, some relations undefined?

Agreed that every relation is accompanied by the human emotions of love, respect, hate, friendship and all the emotions one can think of. But according to me there’s an undefined force which drives some relations. This force can’t be explained by any dictionary. How am I so sure, because I have felt it.

At my age, it’s obvious and natural for a guy, to want someone in his life, to experience love, to explore new things, to be wanted by someone else. It is nature’s law you can’t fight it. But in our pursuit of finding the perfect relation, we tend to over look the small or sometimes big relations, which we are unable to understand.

To be honest, I also followed the league. Tried to get into things, and messed up my life for some time. The feelings were true, but I guess the person and time were wrong. Any ways, moving on and journeying through I came across certain wonderful relations, which till now ‘m trying to figure out.

It took me 21 years and a journey of some hundred miles to finally understand what my parents mean to me and what I mean to them. Being the rebellious kind, I tend to argue and prove my point, well they do it too......and many times they start it.....but I don’t blame them; you know they say after a certain age, you just let your parents on their own, they are just like kids........ OK grandpa enough of philosophical shit. HEHEHEHE........

My point was, even though we have our differences, we still understand each other, love each other.

Another relation which always makes me think, is between me and my ...... uuuummmm I wanna say one of my best friends......... no godfather.......no just uncle......no........well see......can’t define it. He actually is my dad’s friend. I met him when I had just graduated from school, when I started learning music from him. Now ‘m not gonna tell you how awesome he is, you have to meet him. But this person has a major role in what I’m today. I practically owe my passion and now what is going to be my career to him. I have learnt so much from him, not only music, but ways of life, absolutely anything under the sun. He has changed my way of looking at life. The earlier me wouldn’t have been here if it wasn’t for this guy. I seriously don’t know how he looks at me, he sees me as his friend, or am I like a son to him or......seriously don’t know. One thing I know is, I respect him, love him and that mysterious thing, which I can’t explain.

I have these few wonderful friends, which kind of mean the world to me. One is the oldest, from school. She’s being bearing me for almost 15 years or more now. We share something different. Been there for each other, laughed, cried, sometimes bitched, together. And now as both of us are far away, working towards our lives, we still are just a phone call away, and still mean the same to each other. She still calls me in the middle of the night to discuss the silliest things and yeah sometimes the sensible things also.

Then there’s this awesome guy, who now I consider as my brother, but he is something different to me. We just can’t live without each other. People actually recognise us because of each other. There was one time when, either one of us used to be absent, and people were in shock due to this. We have spent some amazing years together. Seen life in all it’s colour. Many times, partners in crime and most of the time creators of awesomeness. There’s just too much to write.

Two people with whom I can be totally crazy and go all out, they have been in my life for not more than 2 years, but we have spent so many unforgettable memories. But it’s not this that makes our friendship so special. It’s the unseen bond, the trust, which keeps us together no matter what comes in our way.

Then there are a few special people, whom I met in my new home, Chennai. Two guys, who are out of this world, brothers, more than roomies. It amazes me how two people or two minds come so close in such a short span of time. May be it’s that undefined force. We have had the best of times together. Will have to write a whole new blog on that, but that later. And then there are these 2 ladies, one totally crazy (‘m gonna get kicked for that) and the other one....well I think she’s an alien or a ghost!!!!! I seriously don’t know how 5 months passed by and how we have come to know each other so well. The alien can make any situation easy , she’s got this unique quality or what I don’t know that makes the other person feel happy and at ease. She’s got a different genre of humour. The crazy one, is a different person all together, she can bash up a guy, and at same time be the cutest person in the world. You can always count on her.

And now the person whom, I was saving for the last. Met her around one and half year ago, and we have seen so much in this period, that we can’t imagine life without each other. She’s like my buddy. I’m holding myself from writing about her, because there’s too little space here. It’s very hard not fall in love with her. Which is what exactly has happened to me. And she knows about it. But still this hasn’t changed anything, we are the same buddies. In fact we are more closer now as friends. Understand each other so well. Normally in these situations the relation goes bad, but I think it’s that unexplained thing, which has made our relation ..... I don’t know what!!!!!!

I don’t tend to hate people. But there’s this one guy I wanna hate from the bottom of my heart. But somehow I don’t know why I can’t. I end up trying to put sense in to him. After what he has behaved with me or my friends, still I end up treating him in a very good manner. Don’t know what he means to me.

This is how I have come across relations and there are many small and beautiful relations which are still undefined. But I think it’s this unexplained characteristic which makes them so special. Either I’m too lazy to find out the answer or life wants to keep it’s mysteries alive, but I’m happy with what life has given me, all these wonderful people who complete my life.

 

Me and Chennai

This can termed as a prologue to the previous blog. I completed my graduation and decided to move to Chennai for my further studies in audio engineering, the field of my passion. But it wasn’t just getting out of Pune and getting into Chennai, this journey had lots to offer.

Goodbye Pune :-
After all the preparations and packing was done, it was finally time for me to say goodbye to my home, Pune. I was being invited for lunch and dinner by my relatives and friends, and saying bye to them all was hard on me. I was to leave on 7th June, so we had a small dinner at my place on the 6th, just 5 of my close friends and my parents. Those were some wonderful memories. I had never seen my parents laugh so much. But through all the laughs and jokes cracked that day, somewhere deep down my heart ached, I didn’t want to leave all these guys, they meant so much to me. Other than that, the night meant more to me in some other way. I did a thing which I wanted to do for a long-time, which was like a burden on me and had to loose it, in order to not regret anything. I did it. And inspite of my fear of loosing a dear friend, it just made our relation stronger.

The next day was family goodbye. My grandparents, my uncles, my cousins had come home. And somehow I felt more closer to them.

The train was at 3.30 in the morning. So there I was at the station, at around 2.30am, with my friends, my parents and my cousin bro. The train was late by hours, so had to kill time on the station. But you don’t have to kill time when you are with your family and friends, it just flies by. Never had imagined, would have such an awesome night at the railway station, especially my friends and family being together.

Finally the train came at 5.30am and the moment of truth had arrived. Trying to stop tears, I hugged my friends, but couldn’t look them in the eyes. And the brother, with whom I spent such great years, who was like my buddy, I couldn’t even hug him, all we got through was a small handshake. As my dad was coming with me, I had to say bye to my mom for now, but couldn’t do that either, I wanted to hug her and tell her how much I loved her, even though I troubled her so much; couldn’t do it.

The train started, and within 5 mins my best friend texts me in his own style; all the best and will miss you a lot. That pushed the tear down my check.

Is it so hard to say goodbye to your loved ones??????

Vanakam Chennai !!!! :-
Honestly when I stepped into Chennai, I hated it. I felt like I was suffocating. Only 10 mins in Chennai, I was missing Pune. That very day, me and my dad, checked out my new college and hostel facilities. That night moved into my new place. A big bunglow, where the top floor was rented out to students of my college. So there I was, starting my hostel life, with 8 guys. My dad stayed for 3 days. And everytime we had lunch or dinner, I tried not looking at him, tried gulping down food, and rolled back those droplets of salty water. The 3rd day my dad had to leave. This really made me disturbed, because, he’s one person I loved the most. But the strength he gave me, made pass through it.

The next 2 weeks were really funny. At one moment I was very home sick and at the next I was laughing, playing music, sharing stuff with my new roommates. During those 2 weeks, my phone bill included a lot of STD calls!!!!

But as time passed, I adjusted to life here. Started liking Chennai. Loved the college, made some good friends there. Back at the hostel, met 2 gems, 2 people who are now very close to me and not less than brothers, have nice and “unique” roommates!!!! Celebrated my birthday, like I had never before. Had 2 cakes, one at the hostel and the other at the college. This was something different , something amazing.

During all this, I learnt a lot. I learnt the value of my parents, my friends, the value of time and money. I learnt to understand and judge people better. I understood what is working towards your goal. Finally I learnt to say NO!!!!! I faced and solved problems on my own. I came to know, some people are just not worth your time and energy and also your friendship. I learnt what LOVE is.

I’m still learning and exploring a lot of things. Exploring life, exploring Chennai. I do miss Pune, home, home food a lot, but have come to terms with it.

This has been my experience with Chennai so far, and eager to have more!!!!!

Life has lots to offer, accept it with open arms and enjoy it. And be grateful to life, for whatever it had given you. That way you have less regrets, trust me. And at the end of it, only thing matters is that you and your loved ones are happy and satisfied.

Cheers!!!!

Apprehensions and Expectations

It’s been a long time since I posted my last blog. And now ‘m writing this one, when I have started a new phase of my life. I have shifted to a new city for my studies in Audio.

After the final exams of my last year in college, things started to move pretty fast, towards my new goal, Audio Engineering. Things went on well, I cleared the entrance test, got admission into the college which I wanted, at the same time I became a Commerce graduate. And finally it all came down to the preparations leading to my adieu to my hometown, to leave for a new city, a new life. It was pretty hard for me to leave my parents, my friends, my city in which I was born, brought up n lived for 20 years. Everyone was proud of me, at the same time had expectations that, I do well in the new course and have a good career ahead. I realised that and a sense of responsibility came to me.

During the preparations, I went through a phase of apprehensions and expectations. It’s a time when a person has some expectations and anxiety towards his new life. I had lots!!!!!
When the thought of moving to a strange city, and living there for 18 months, struck me, I was shocked to the core. Felt like the earth below me had started shaking. Those few days were the worst. I was nervous, scared, anxious and every possible emotion a man can go through!!!!!
Thanks to my parent’s hostel stories, I was long away from being comforted. They told me what all had happened in their times, how hostel guys behave, what pranks are played, how ragging was done and what not. But then I found out a logic, that come on, so many young guys leave their homes and go out for studies and they turn out fine, so why shouldn’t I. And one more thing, all these stories were really old; my dad graduated atleast 20 years back.

But still I had some apprehensions about my new roommates. I expected them to be nice people, whose wavelength matched mine, but it’s not a perfect world after all. So I left that to fate.
One more fear I had, was that, I had dreamt about doing this for a long time and now it was turning into a reality, so will I really be able to do this. But then I thought, music is my passion, and this is what I’m here to do. So screw everyone ‘m doing this and ‘m going to prove myself.
Another anxiety was about the course and the college. Of course I had done my research and heard a lot about the college, but still was curious that, how my new college will be, how’s the faculty there, finally I hadn’t seen the college, so this thought was but obvious.

The most dreaded fear I had was, leaving my buddies and my parents. How will I survive without them? With whom will I hang out? Who will bunk classes and watch movies with me? With whom will I dream about the future? Who will do awesome things with me? Who will talk with me for hours on the phone? Who will be my bro n take me out to movies and give me valuable pieces of advice? A lot of questions remained unanswered.

I was going to miss home food. I hoped I got good food in the new place, as per my tastes.

So basically I had lot of apprehensions. But at the end of it I decided that, not to expect much, or your expectations do get broken. Instead go with an open mind, accept what you can, adjust a bit, and things which you can’t adjust, just ignore or find an alternative. Coz finally it’s life, it moves on, even if you don’t. Life always offers you something new, accept it with a smiling face, and you can enjoy life.

So after a hard and long game of “emotional ping pong”, I left my hometown, towards a new city, a new life, a new me. And it has turned out to be just fine. Got good friends, roommates, college turned out to be good, the faculty nice. So not expecting much, paid off!!!!!

But going through all this made me realise values of certain people and certain things. I wish everyone goes though this once in their lifetime, it’s a wonderful experience!!!!!
Cheers. :)